I need a map.

I don't know what to do today. Depression is weighin' heavy on me. My life never seems to go right. I try and try and work very hard at whatever it is I'm doing, and it never seems to be enough to keep me happy. Daddy hasn't sold any puppies I want to see him. He always makes me feel better. I'll call him later today when he's at Aunt Gaynelle's. Maybe I'll get to talk to Jessica and see what she's been up to.

Last night at the bar this girl got hit in the face with a crowbar. She just had a baby a few weeks ago and was out celebrating. I don't get it she's got 5 kids and still wants to party and run the roads. Is life ever enough for anyone the way it is or are we always looking for greener grass? I'm not a woman that wants babies and a family life like that but you'd think after having 5 kids you'd kinda made your path? My path seems to be a dusty dirt road with no particular direction. Usually there's a bar along the way and a bunch of loser hitch hikers! I don't believe that'll be enough for me, ever.

No daddy this weekend :(

Well, I was really hopin' my daddy could come here to Daytona for the 4th of July. He didn't sell any puppies and his check didn't come yet so he won't come. I told the owner of the motel I'm stayin' at that my daddy might come for the weekend. He said he'd give him a good rate, now I got to tell him he ain't coming. He just lost a maid I'm gonna see about doin' that during the daytime for a little extra money Savat is a good man from India or somewhere like it. I know he's married to a Chinese woman but I don't see much of her. She sings at a karaoke sushi place in Port Orange.

I been looking forward to the 4th all week and now it's just gonna be another weekend. There's a lot of people in town, it'll be busy at work. My back hurts from last night, I was swinging around on the pole and I felt my back pop. Bein' a stripper is hard work sometimes! Roger has an ex-wife and she wants him back or at least don't want him with a stripper. He said she came by his house the other day screamin' about his new "lifestyle"and when was he going to come back to his senses. I'm already not in the mood to deal with her!

I'm happy here :)

Life is just a fantastic day at the beach! I really love it here and now I got a man, my life is great! I wish the whole world could see me in my new bikini, it is hot!! Roger bought it for me, he wanted a free lap dance and I told him it would cost him a new bikini, so he went out and got it! It's black, one of my favorite colors with string sides, it's very skimpy.

I've been a little busy with work and Roger. Jules is working a lot too, she has a few new "friends" (older lonely men) who need a "date" here and there. This motel is still fun too, I'm usually moved onto a new one by now. Danny has already quit his job. He ain't use to workin' and donuts are sticky and dirty and he don't want to be neither one! I'm afraid he's thinkin' about going back to Kentucky. He talks to his momma every day and she begs him to come home. I talked to daddy and he said Ms Parker is so lost without him. I didn't tell Danny that. Daddys happy for me, he wants to come down here for the Pepsi 400 at the speedway. If he can sell some of Patsy's puppies, she's his old bull dog that had babies about a month ago, he'll be here this weekend! I'd love to see my daddy and introduce him to Roger!